Mutya Keisha Siobhan’s ‘Flatline’ Video Is Incredibly Fabulous

Martyn Hett defends Mutya Keisha Siobhan’s video for Flatline and points out some fabulous moments the haters are missing out on.

By on 21 August, 2013 Filed in Television
mks flatline

A few days ago, the music video for Mutya Keisha Siobhan’s new single ‘Flatline’ premiered. It’s received a relatively negative response online, with many believing the girls blew the budget on the flights to LA and filmed it on Mutya’s Blackberry.

The thing is… everybody is wrong. Whilst the scenes are incredibly choppy and fast, when you slow it down, there are some FABULOUS moments – and I’m going to highlight just a few of those for you.

 

Siobhan’s Fabulous Singular Earring

Siobhan’s fabulous earring features at several points in the video, but I believe the image below captures just how fabulous it makes her feel. Nothing’s as daring as a straight girl wearing a singular earring, and Siobhan knows it.

Siobhan's Fabulous Singular Earring

Mutya’s Awkward and Hesitant High Five

She seemed somewhat unsure about this.

Mutya's Awkward And Hesitant High Five

The Attention Seeking Man

At first glance, I thought this was Heidi on her ice-skates in a desperate attempt to keep her new-found career as a Reality TV star afloat. But once I slowed the footage down, it was just an attention seeking man.

Attention Seeking Man

Siobhan Cleverly Self Referencing Her Solo Work to Earn A Few Extra Quid

Siobhan’s taken a big risk by rejoining the girls, particularly after all the public slanging matches in the past. But she has a backup plan. By cleverly positioning herself in situations similar to those in her own videos (cruising in a car, wearing a floaty metallic dress whilst walking across an idyllic landscape) she’s reminding the masses that her two fabulous albums are still available on iTunes for just £4.99 each.

Siobhan Cleverley Self Referencing Her Solo Work To Earn A Few Extra Quid

This ‘90s TV Commercial’-Inspired Sunglasses Moment

Fabulous Sunglasses Moment

Mutya’s Matching Lipstick

As I mentioned in my previous Mutya Keisha Siobhan-related article, Mutya is a style icon. Her ‘just downed a bottle of whisky and smoked 20 cigarettes’ look is sexy as fuck, and her futuristic ghetto robot look at the 2003 Brit Awards was a style triumph. She’s somewhat toned things down nowadays, but there’s no way on Earth she hadn’t pre-planned this lipstick/surfboard combination. Matched to perfection.

Mutya's Fabulously Matching Lipstick

The Incredibly Unlikely Fan

Mutya Keisha Siobhan haven’t been around long enough for me to work out their fanbase. From what I can tell so far, the majority are 20 something gay boys with a penchant for left-field pop music, but it’s likely that a new generation will join the troops. However, the guy who eagerly gets his photo taken with them in the video looks as though he’d be more of a Meatloaf fan if I’m quite honest. Either way, he’s just happy to be there.

The Incredibly Unlikely Fan

The Incessant Raising of Arms

One thing that quite a few people have picked up on is the amount of times the girls raise their arms throughout the video. I took the time out to count just how many raised arms there were, and it totaled 136. This worked out at 1.7 raised arms per second, which quite frankly I think is quite the achievement.

Siobhan’s Refusal to Clap

Siobhan's Refusal To Clap

Keisha’s Flag Moment

As the video approaches its climax, we see the girls follow a nice marching band that appear to have casually turned up in the desert. Within the space of two shots, we see Keisha go from sneaking behind them mischievously, to becoming the FLAG BEARER. Classic Keisha. If you’d have left it 5 more minutes, she’d have kicked half the band out and replaced them with new members.

Keisha's Flag Moment

Martyn Hett

Often described as a 'one man hen night', Martyn is a twenty-something northerner addicted to all things low-culture. With a penchant for 90s divas, his life peaked when he met Mariah Carey. Other than that, Martyn's only other achievement in life is creating a compilation video of Audrey Roberts from Coronation Street which went viral.

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