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After a day’s reflection, I’m still a little puzzled as to what to make of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat…
Andrew Lloyd Webber’s iconic show about a humble man’s rise to royalty is touring the UK currently and I was fortunate enough to get tickets to view it at Manchester’s Palace Theatre.
Again, Joseph is a show I’ve never seen before, only heard about through word of mouth. I know that they made a show on the BBC a few years ago and that the curly haired guy who won is now in Holby City (I think).
I wasn’t sure what to expect, except that he had a fancy coat, it was set in Egypt and it was something biblical. I was correct for the most part.
In a nutshell, Joseph has 11 brothers and because he’s their father’s favourite they all hate him, rip up his coat and sell him into slavery. Meanwhile, they tell his dad he’s dead.
Then his new master’s wife takes a shine to him, which lands him in the dungeons. He’s soon released, though, because he can interpret dreams and correctly predicts that Elvis’s crops would stay fruitful for seven years.
Then his brothers are poor and his dad is old, so they go begging and Joseph is like, ‘Course I’ll feed you. Come into my kingdom!’
I was actually quite shocked by how short the show was. The both acts were only about 45 minutes long, but they did include an impromptu costume changes by Joe McElderry from sheepskins and Ugg boots – which was an odd choice for ancient Egypt I thought – into his new fitting clothing as slave and housekeeper which consisted of a little skirt and nothing else.
I was living! Shirtless reveal, can I get a ‘YASSSSSSS’?
Joe McElderry has a banging pair of legs! I’ve thirsted after him since 2009 when he was on The X Factor and I voted for him to win. I remember that when I called the number a recorded message from him thanked me for voting and I knew from that moment he was speaking directly to me and we were destined to be together.
After Joseph, my thirst has only grown stronger. Maybe it was all that time in the Egyptian deserts or maybe Joe McElderry is just too much for me.
After his brief moment without a top, he spent the vast remainder of the show in said attire except for a Bucks Fizz-esque skirt rip which revealed a smaller, fancier skirt, which showed even more leg.
I must have tweeted at him about 10 times about his legs, which in hindsight is actually kinda creepy but whatever, I’m in love. Like Whitney’s stalker in The Bodyguard – except, I don’t have a firearm license and I’m not a psycho for the most part.
Joe gets MVP, and not just for his legs. He was great! His singing was on point and I had goosebumps out of nowhere during a song he sang entirely on the floor under a spotlight. It was so grandiose and like, ‘Shit yeah, Joseph! I believe you’ll get out of that jail! I believe in you!’ He had an energy about him that I like my leading men to have. Yes gawd.
The Narrator was played by Lucy Kay – who was on Britain’s Got Talent last year, I was told, so good for her for going places! I applaud that. She was great too and ever present. If it wasn’t for her taking us from scene to scene, I wouldn’t have had a frigging clue what was going on. Belting! Good lad! Two thumbs up!
As a production, aside from it being so short, and the overture being about 20 minutes long and the end medley lasting another 40 minutes, I really enjoyed myself. Joseph made some poor decisions – like feeding his brothers after they sold him and told his dad he’d been killed in a fight with a goat (I think that’s what happened). Mate, not a chance.
After how they behaved I would have let those bastards starve in the desert. You let them back in a show them the smallest sign of weakness like you did first time when they ripped up your rainbow jacket and you’ll be out on your arse before you know it!
We know how jealous and selfish people can be, and ain’t nobody got time for that, lemme tell you! They’d be strung up and dragged through the streets of Jerusalem before they even found out I was their alive-and-well brother!
But aside from his poor decisions, he was super hard done by and I felt all of the feels for Joseph and his captors. The production did very well at evoking the emotions – these mostly being wonder and glee because of all of the huge productions and sassy dances, and men in skirts and tight pharaoh outfits.
GET ON JOSEPH BECAUSE IT WAS CAMP AND FABULOUS AND I LOVED IT AND IT WAS RIDICULOUS AND I LOVED IT! PLUS JOE MCELDERRY PHWOAR YES.
Pick up tickets from ATG Tickets.