Here goes. I’m about to lose the next four weeks of my life.
Yes, Celebrity Big Brother is back, and I actually do think it MAY be safe to say that this will go down as a classic series. There are some truly brilliant names in there, but alas, for every great ‘celebrity’ in there (I use the term lightly, as some of them are barely that – hell, I’m more famous than some of them!), there’s a nonentity of little importance to rival them.
So without further ado, let’s take a look at this years misfits.
I have a feeling I’m going to be controversial here, but I just LOVE Katie Hopkins. Well, no, not so much her, but rather the reaction she generates in others. People simply hate her, and rightfully so. She herself doesn’t like people with tattoos, or people that are fat, ginger, or unemployed. She’s going to ruffle a lot of feathers.
Katie will most likely be the first to go (after either Chloe or Alexander – I think Big Brother only had her choose two people so that she herself didn’t go first, as she is a pretty big coup) but I sincerely hope not. She’ll piss everyone off, but she’ll be a delight to watch because of it.
I hope she’s in it for a long time – potential winner here, if she isn’t voted out the first chance people get. TV GOLD!
Patsy may have been in the spotlight since she was four, but personally I’ve only seen her on Emmerdale. I think she may be like Claire King from last series – promising initially, but one who quickly becomes lost amongst the bigger faces.
And speaking of faces, just how much work has she had done?! Fuck me.
I sincerely hope Perez doesn’t go down the same route as the last catty gay on this show.
Last year Leslie Jordan was initially loved, but he quickly became hated due to his annoying manner and his small-man syndrome. I think Perez could mirror him.
Yes, he’s annoying already (he literally knows EVERYTHING about EVERYONE, and doesn’t let them have a chance to speak themselves) but I think he’ll get even more annoying as the series goes on.
I hope not though – I secretly quite like him, despite from his annoying temperament.
Aw, I feel sorry for Ken. He’s the oldest housemate and he seems disconnected from the others.
Yes, Alexander is 61 and Keith is 57, but I think they’ll both fit in easier with the younger housemates than Ken. I think he’s going to struggle. He seems nervous.
If he doesn’t come out of his shell, he may soon be forgotten.
Nope, I’ve never heard of her either. Hopefully she’ll fuck off soon.
Calum is providing the eye candy this series, and he does seem to have settled down in recent years – although, admittedly, he is one of those nonentities that I mentioned in the opening.
He could be brilliant, though, if he isn’t too reserved.
Here’s hoping he hasn’t grown up too much.
Now, Alicia Douvall is personally my least favourite type of person. I despise people like her more than Katie Hopkins. She’s vein, a complete and utter nobody, and has spent over one million pounds on cosmetic surgery.
And why? Have you seen her? Fuck me she looks rough. A complete waste of money. It would be fair enough if she had the talent to back it up, but she is literally nobody.
I hate her perhaps the most. I hope she, too, fucks off shortly.
I hope Alexander is brilliant. He certainly has the potential to be – with his life stories he could be this series’ Gary Busey. Though he probably won’t be as crackers.
I’m on the fence about him so far – we’ll see.
Nadia may be annoying. Nadia may be hilarious. I think she’ll calm down substantially over the coming days and may become extremely boring. She’ll be overshadowed by some of the bigger characters.
I think Jeremy may just be brilliant. He is completely over-the-top and bonkers and the perfect example of a child star going off the rails, but he may just be a perfect housemate.
I think he’ll be quite funny – I can imagine him and Calum blossoming a bromance.
I still have no idea who he is though.
I’m too young to know who he is, but I’m informed by everyone in the office that he was sort of popular in the ’90s. I have heard of his song, though: ‘I Can Make You Feel Good’. It’s as annoying as I think he will be. Another nonentity.
I enjoyed what Katie said about him – he was famous when he was three, and then took some drugs, and then went on Big Brother. With Katie Hopkins.
She has him town to a tee.
Emma said she was a little in love with Michelle, and I have to admit that from what I’ve seen thus far I think I may be too. I’ve not seen RuPaul’s Drag Race, but I understand she is quite a coup. Literally all the gays are talking about her on Facebook and Twitter.
Michelle is an advocate for the ‘queens, the gays, the freaks, [and] the misfits’ so she’ll most likely go down a storm with fans – after all, the LGBT+ contestants of Big Brother tend to do rather well.
Many online are already vying for a cat fight between Michelle and Katie, but I doubt that’ll happen. I think they may become close friends.
Another potential winner here. Michelle is FIERCE.
Prior to the new series it was announced that no reality TV rejects (those exact words weren’t used, but you get my drift) would feature. Apparently they didn’t want anybody on the show that had a history of playing it up to the cameras. Alas, that isn’t the case.
Enter Chloe Goodman from Ex on the Beach – literally no fucking clue who she is. Did anyone even watch that?
She’ll be the first to go – there’s simply no way Alexander will go over her.
Like Nadia, Keith is going to grate on me. He’s too happy. I don’t like him, though I think he’ll have a big following. He’ll probably do quite well.
Who do you think will win? Sound off in the comments below, and tune in later in the week when we give a round-up of the in-house antics so far.