Contains spoilers and awesome but gruesome moments.
Game of Thrones is back, and bloodier than ever. ‘Two Swords’ was a fantastic opening episode – it lacked somewhat on the action front, but sometimes Game of Thrones is at its best when the characters are sparring with words rather than swords.
This series of articles will explore the top 10 moments from each episode.
1. Arya (finally) turns badass
Easily the standout scene comes right at the end of the episode where Arya turns badass and gets revenge on that dude from season two who no one remembers. But the scene in question is one which books fans have long been waiting for, and it’s grin-inducing to behold, especially when Arya recites the same lines Polliver cited as he killed her friend: “Something wrong with your leg boy? Can you walk? Have I got to carry you? A fine little blade. Maybe I’ll pick my teeth with it.”
2. Oberyn Martell & Ellaria Sand
Everyone’s favourite new character Oberyn Martell saunters into Kings Landing and steals the show. He’s here for Joffrey and Margerys wedding, which is only two weeks away. Oberyn is very easy to like: dashing and charming on the surface with an eye for the ladies (and the men) but beneath it he’s ruthless and out for revenge on Tywin. After that trick with the dagger, I have a feeling Oberyn is going to spill more blood. Ellaria Sand also debuts, but her introduction is somewhat of a let-down. Here’s hoping she had more to do next week.
3. Drogon’s moody
The Mother of Dragons is her usual badass self as we are greeted to a glorious shot of her warring dragons. The CGI is impressive here, and it’s clear that the show has been given yet more money to throw at shots of dragons. Not that anyone will be complaining. It’s rather cute to watch her relaxing and stroking Drogon, before he turns upon her. They’ve grown incredibly large since the last episode, but now they’re experiencing their moody teenage years. The only bug I have about Dany’s story is that I hope she reaches Meereen soon – we’ve had far too many episodes of Dany wandering across the desert and, as much as I love Dany, those shots do grow tiresome.
4. Sansa cries (again)
Sophie Turner acts her socks off once more as Sansa experiences yet more grief. The young cast of Game of Thrones are equally as compelling as the more experienced members. Sansa seriously needs some respite from her torment, or she’s going to flip!
5. The Hound impales that dude who no one cares about, but it’s epic nonetheless
Yeah, another dude is killed who no one remembers but it’s stomach-turning to watch. After smashing several faces with his fist and stabbing someone in the groin, the Hound (how many times did he drop the C-bomb, seriously?!) impales another guy several times on his own dagger, leaving his face bloody and broken. Ouch!
6. Jon remembers Robb
Jon gives Sam, and the viewers, a rather touching eulogy to Robb who died at the infamous Red Wedding. Their relationship is somewhat hard to believe, considering we only saw Jon and Robb together for two episodes, but Kit Harrington is rather sublime in this short scene and it’s nice to see Jon and Sam reunited at last.
7. Gleeful Olenna
Comic relief comes once more at the hand (or should that be mouth?) of Diana Rigg’s Olenna Tyrell, who can’t quite believe her eyes when she sees Brienne towering over her. The particularly funny line comes after Brienne asks to speak with Margery in private, to which Olenna spiels “you dare not refuse.” I hope Olenna is around until the end of this show.
8. Jaime’s golden hand
Jaime is fitted with a golden hand which is rather awkward and grotesque, but which brings laughter when he gives Maester Qyburn a clumsy, mocking wave. He also tries it on with an increasingly drunken Cersei, who point blank refuses his advances. Let’s see how long that lasts, eh…
9. The Thenns are hungry. Ygritte and Tormund aren’t.
Ygritte’s pissed. Hell, just about everyone is pissed in this episode. We are introduced to the Thenn clan, who bring with them supper for the camp of Wildlings south of the Wall. What’s for tea? Crow. It was predictable and didn’t quite have the impact I suspect the show runners wanted it to have (especially after seeing Dany eating a horse heart, various characters decapitated and Robb and Catelyn butchered) but it still managed to turn my stomach.
10. Shae’s pissed.
Tyrian didn’t get much to do this episode, but he still managed to piss Shae off again. Watch what you say little man, a woman scorned and all that…