Lady Gaga’s ‘Applause’ Is (Kind Of) The Best Thing Ever

Gabriel Duckels

The trouble with Lady Gaga circa Born This Way is she started to feel a bit like a show-off. Like, OK, we get it, you’re high concept, whatever. She started to feel like a drunk aunt at a party, and I say that as someone who was one step away from getting “Little Monster <3” tattooed across my forehead in 2009. Applause is, thank God, Gaga’s homecoming.

It’s simple, it’s gorgeous, it’s a snappy three minutes long rather than a dragged-out fifteen. Here are the best goddamn moments in Gaga’s latest venture:

The Head Spin

head spin

Yes! Gaga! Yes! Spin for us! Spin!

The Dancing

gaga dancing

Gaga isn’t really a dancer, which is why I love her choreography so much. I have two left feet and a heap of crowd-related anxiety issues, so the great choreography reminds me that I too may one day become a pop star.

The Big Tent Thing

gaga tent

Wahoo! Big white tent jacket! Look at me swirl! I am a pretty Pokemon!

The Swan

gaga swan

Is she Leda? Is she Swan Lake? I love a bit of anthropomorphic inter-breeding so Gaga as a sexy swan lady totally floats my boat.

The Strut

gaga strut

Gaga is at her best when she’s marching up and down like a latter day supermodel. Case in point.

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The Undead Gaga

undead gaga

This is a nod to previous-era-Gaga, right? Reminds me of her amazing Grammy’s performance. It’s the right mix of spookalicious and brutal glamour.

The Esoteric Hand Gesture

gaga hands

Love it babes. Give the Illuminati conspiracy theorists something else to panic about on lame web forums. This looks a bit too complex to teach myself, but might try and perform it as a greeting at job interviews.

The Miley


Everyone is always so keen to disparage Gara for stealing/referencing Madonna or Bowie or whatever, but no one has noticed that Gaga is totally ripping off Miley Cyrus’ appalling video for I Can’t Be Tamed or Untamed or whatever the hell it’s called.

The Thrust

gaga thrust

I wish I would get this much of a response when I wear hand bras and thrust about like a Jack Russell.


ALL IN ALL: this might not be ‘Bad Romance’ and the chorus might sound way too David-Guetta-after-a-few-Apple-Sourz, but it’s a fun song with a fun video. Play it to your grandmother. Play it to random school children you encounter on the street. Gaga, we salute you.

About Gabriel Duckels

Gabriel Duckels is a writer who lives in South East London. Follow Gabriel on Twitter: @iamgabriel

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