Dylan Jones
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Each week, one of our writers will whip up a selection of tracks that sums up a particularly evocative time in their lives. This week, Dylan B Jones recalls Camden squats, goth sex and serving people breast milk ice cream.


It was the summer of 2011. Riots were sweeping London, Amy Winehouse had been discovered lifelessly slumped over a bottle of Jack Daniels, and Bridesmaids had just come out on DVD. I was living in a semi-illegal squat in Camden, and working at an adult ice cream shop in Covent Garden. It enjoyed a lot of press for doing flavours like breast milk, absinthe and Viagra. We had to wear leather police hats and tight black jeans.

Now the ice cream shop is an Accessorize, the squat’s been repossessed, and Bridesmaids has nine out of ten red tomatoes on Rotten Tomatoes. BUT THE MUSIC LIVES ON. Here, in no particular order, is a selection of my most emotive, evocative, Ebola-inducing tracks to sum up those maniacal few months.

Jackie Q – Supertight

On Tuesday nights my friend Holly and I used to get pissed on Sainsbury’s Basics gin and dance around her room to this. I would do Jackie’s bits and she would do Russell Brand’s rap bits. Afterwards we’d crack open her Sex & The City box set and throw Haribo at the screen whenever Carrie said something idiotic.

Chicks on Speed – Euro Trash Girl

Fittingly, I first heard this when I woke up on someone’s sofa in Limehouse (for those who don’t know, Limehouse is an area of East London renowned for gay saunas, chicken shops and knife crime). Anyway, it was someone’s sofa in someone’s flat. There was a half-dressed boy with tattoos passed out on the floor, which was bare concrete. The DVD menu for Factory Girl was looping silently on the TV. Edgy.

Lil’ Kim – How Many Licks

This is one of the songs we had to dance to in the ice cream shop (licks, ice cream, get it? Clever). When it played the American tourists would always shuffle around looking a bit uncomfortable. Meanwhile my friend Leon and I would grind against each other whilst banging the till shut with our hips or licking things lasciviously off spoons.

Uffie – MC’s Can Kiss

This song’s by Uffie, a talentless slag who slept her way to the top of the French electronic music industry. She’s great. I went to see her at Koko and she glassed someone in the face.

Sunstroke Project & Olia Tira – Run Away

This fun Eurovision bargain bucket reject was the soundtrack to a particularly hazy session at Camden Lock. Someone had it on their phone for some reason. It sounds even more gleefully tacky when blasted out of tinny Samsung speakers.

Britney Spears – Toy Soldier

This might, MIGHT be Britney’s best song ever. It was number one on my Hungover Tube Journey To Uni playlist.

The Pretty Reckless – Make Me Wanna Die

It was 2am. This was playing. There was a smashed bottle of whiskey in the fireplace. There was a man called Tazer with a green Mohawk tapping cigarette ash onto my back. I wasn’t just listening to Taylor Momsen. I WAS Taylor fucking Momsen.

On that note, we’ll conclude this week’s instalment of VADA PERSONAL PLAYLISTS (hashtag, retweet, trending, like us on Facebook). But next week you’ll have a whole new dose of sonorous sentimentality. It might be ethereal world beats from someone’s holiday to Thailand, or S-Club 7 b-sides from someone’s holiday to Tyneside! Who knows! That’s the beauty of it.

About Dylan Jones

Alcoholic vegetarian Londoner looking for my jacket. Likes Pritt Stick, adjectival agreements, vinegar, Serena Williams, tattooed men, Camden Station and panthers (in that order). Dislikes fennel. Once threw chips at someone from Made In Chelsea. @dylanbjones