RuPaul’s Drag Race S7 E12: And the Rest is Drag

Bryony Bates

Bryony likes reading, writing, glamour and anger. @Bryony_Bates

So here we are darlings, the final four. And as per, they’ll be starring in one of Ru’s music videos (available now on iTunes).

The trouble with this challenge is always the finished product: have you seen the video for ‘Sissy that Walk’? More of Ru and less of Bianca’s cross-eyed-rabbit-in-the-headlights look. As such, I didn’t have high hopes for this week’s episode, and thank God because I may not have survived the trauma otherwise.

OK, so I’m being dramatic, but it hurts so much that Katya’s not here. I find myself wiping away a tear along with Ginger. Apparently she was the only one keeping this group together because bitter old ladies vs. Violet and Pearl (Vearl? Piolet?) has ramped up this evening.

But Kennedy, please – ‘This is not a sewing competition’? You know I hate to agree with Violet but you knew you were going to have to sew. SEASON. SEVEN. Come on.

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No mini-challenge this week, as Michelle Visage comes in to announce that the queens will be starring in the video for ‘Born Naked’, doing some acting because they haven’t done enough of that already and having the traditional tic tac lunch with Ru. Always fun seeing Michelle do a double take at everyone out of drag, though I think she could just about tell the difference between Violet and Pearl. There have been some close calls in the past.

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LOVE that Ru blends her tic tac as she’s ‘juicing now’, though you do always wonder whether she actually does survive on tic tacs alone. I’m certain she’s not seen a square meal since 1982.

I’m not going to go into these interviews that much because I find them a little exploitative, TBH. We get fairly staged insights into the contestants’ personal lives throughout the season, but it’s usually in the Work Room where they’re all there to support each other.

The tic tac lunches are just a way for Ru to get everyone to trot out the most traumatic thing that’s happened to them to make sure there’s a little bit of sympathy for everyone and so raise the stakes. It’s not exactly classy.

Back in the Work Room, Ginger’s coming for Violet, though she seems to have forgotten that Violet won the last dancing challenge while the Minj herself lip-synced so … it’s also laughable that Ginger’s like, ‘We appreciate what these kids are trying to do with their modern drag’ – bitch you’re only 29, you acting all wise and superior is like if I insisted a 16 year old gave up their seat to me on the bus on account of my knees!

Shooting the video, there are bits and pieces flying everywhere – Kennedy’s the only one who wins this game of drag buckaroo as all of her hair and accessories stay on, while Ginger loses her wig, Pearl’s slides back and Violet loses an earring.

Choreographer Candis Cayne is singularly unimpressed, though at least Ginger’s learnt how to dance in the last two weeks. Makes you wonder whether she was protesting too much in earlier episodes.

I have had to write far too much about these girls acting, so I’ll limit myself to these few points.

  1. 1. Mathu Andersen’s beard – YES! No queen will ever do bearded better, she is for the ages, she will never die.

  2. 2. Pearl’s mad mommy is fantastic – who knew acting full o’pills would come so naturally to her?

  3. 3. RuPaul is trying way too hard to do a deep manly voice.

Time for everyone’s best drag on the runway, though RuPaul has pulled out something akin to Sasha Belle’s lobster dress for the occasion.

I HATE Kennedy’s pride dress – it’s so ugly it’s making me feel all Westboro Baptist – I want to burn that shit. I mean, nice if you like that sort of thing I guess, but I don’t understand the hip flaps, the pointy shoes, the shoulder vulvas.

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Violet, having had some of the best runway looks ever on this show (yeah, I said it) looks surprisingly underdressed this evening but she looks nice. You could criticise Pearl’s lingerie look, but it is completely representative of her look, and the only thing I can think about Ginger’s dress is I think my character on Kim Kardashian: Hollywood wore a shorter version of that to her wedding. I’m married to an A-list model called Sophie, thank you for asking – my virtual love life is infinitely better than my real one.

If we were just basing this on lip-sync alone, Pearl should have gone, for sure. Girl can’t dance. But Kennedy should have gone long ago, and also, that dress, so no love lost for me. Bye Kennedy. If nothing else, it was through you that RuPaul taught me the airports in New York. Keep slaying them in Dallas.

So now we have our top three, and it’s between Ginger and Violet by my reckoning. Will it be Ginger, infinitely more loveable, but not quite as glamorous as she thinks? Or Violet, with her unshakeable confidence? Remember, only one of these queens hasn’t lip-synced – could Violet be the other other Tyra? Stay tuned kids.