A Bad Gay’s Diary: 4 January 2016

Jack Thomlinson
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Cigarettes smoked: 14
Alcoholic drinks: 5
Underwear worn: Lucky AussieBums

First day back at work after the holidays. Nightmare of epic proportions – a week off and a week of work to catch up on. Plus everyone asking what you did for Christmas and NYE, who you spent them with, and who you kissed under the mistletoe.

These are all subjects I’d rather not go over verbally as I’ve been beating myself up about them in my head too much already.

Spent most of the day procrastinating and avoiding calls from my mother.

Must think of excuse not to go home at the weekend to spend time with my family playing Articulate. Don’t think haemorrhoids – or that kind of aching loneliness you sometimes get, that is only made worse by spending time with the actual people who raised you to feel that way – will work.

But I’m trying to move on, right? Onwards and upwards. Or downwards and outwards, if my mood and waistline are anything to go by. (Reminder: must get chocolate. Must also get bigger belt.)

Spoke to Receptionist Boy about the post-seasonal applications of tinsel. Of all things. I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

How does one say politely (and without looking like a stalker), ‘You have those sexy dimples on your back when you’re on the floor filing, and I want you in my bed’?

Now he’s going to think I only see him as the office’s resident Christmas decorator, rather than as a fully-nuanced and dimply-backed human being.

So embarrassed that I had to go for drinks with adoptive family Cath, James and Aiden.

So much for lucky underwear. Will burn tomorrow and buy new ones.

About Jack Thomlinson

Jack provides Vada with a look into his everyday life in the form of a diary all through January 2016. Check back everyday for new updates.