A Change Could Do You Good

Robin Wells

Change is a constant part of our lives, something which people crave and fear in equal measure – sometimes at the same time. We experience change on a daily basis, whether it be discovering a new song from your favourite singer, finishing a project, or starting a new job.

My recent change comes from the fact that I have just handed in my last piece of work for university. This means that I have no longer got this cloud of upcoming deadlines looming in the back of my subconscious. As someone who has struggled for the past 4 years to get himself organised to do work, and therefore who has been constantly worried about his essay deadlines, this is a very strange sensation. It’s a welcome change, but I must admit to struggling somewhat with processing the fact that it’s actually over.

There are, of course, the changes that are not welcome – like losing a job, losing your health, or losing a loved one. These are the changes which take the most work, the most time to process, the most getting used to. Your world can be turned upside down within the space of a phone call and/or conversation at times like these. That instrument of support that you had before – whether it be financial security from a steady job, the moral support of a family member, or just being able to walk down the street unaided – is suddenly no longer available to you. These are the losses that can have life-changing long-term consequences for you personally, which you may not be able to recover from for many years.

Which is why I cannot understand why certain members of society are getting all het up about the potential upcoming passing of the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill – especially when it will not affect them, regardless of what they might claim. How exactly does same-sex couples being able to get married endanger the marriage of straight couples? To quote the great Wanda Sykes, “if your marriage is f****d up, it’s cause you f****d it up!” Of course, I can understand how some people don’t like too much change, as it makes them feel insecure in their view of the world, but change happens on every level, and just because it might take some people some getting used to, does not mean that it’s a bad thing.

It also does not mean that society will suddenly lose the morals that it has established, in fact it will reinforce those morals, because it’s immoral to deny two people the ability to marry purely because they are of the same sex. Many argue that they object to it because they see marriage as a sacred religious institution, a commitment between two people before God, and I’d really like to know if those people would hold the marriage of a heterosexual couple who married in a non-religious ceremony in just as much contempt as they do same-sex marriages? What if the couple were Jewish? Muslim? Hindu? The legal and social definition of marriage has changed considerably over the last 200 years, and just because a marriage is not conducted within the parameters of one religion, does not mean that it should be denied. This is not the case for all other non-Christian couples, except those who are of the same sex.

Change can be wonderful and joyous, or painful and heartbreaking, or it can benefit some whilst having absolutely no effect on some people. Those who object to same-sex marriage should take a look at whether it really would affect them as badly as they seem to think, and then try and get a bit of perspective on the issue.

About Robin Wells

Robin is an actor and a languages enthusiast, freshly-graduated from the University of London. He spends a fair amount of time in the YouTube community, and recently made the documentary 'Coming Out, Going On' for National Coming Out Day 2012.