Mega Sore Arse: The rise of gay dino porn?

Look, gay dino porn is a thing, and it’s been around for a while. Why are we fighting this still? Best to just lie back and take it – I mean, accept it! I definitely wouldn’t ever advocate for reptilian sex. Ever.

There’s a whole NSFW Imgur dedicated to gay dino porn. It’s full of ridiculously anatomically incorrect giant lizards humping each other.

There’s also Chuck Tingle, who writes badly edited, poorly written erotic dino short fiction with names like ‘Space Raptor Butt Invasion’, ‘My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass’ and ‘Gay T-Rex Law Firm Executive Boner’ (a bit of a mouthful – and not in the good way).

He’s not the only one, though, as The Guardian reportsThe latest dino porno doing the rounds is a Thai film called Jurassic Porn – complete with a heel-throwing transvestite!

jurassic world porn 1 jurassic world porn 2 jurassic world porn 3 - shoe throw jurassic world porn 4 - clever girlClever girl, huh?

From here, the film quickly descends (as if that were possible) into a faux-rape fantasy of men in dino suits tearing off their scales and buggering a Chris Pratt-look-nothing-a-like. Ummm….

It’s not just the gays that are into this, though – there’s even a straight porno called ‘Pterodactyl Dinosaur Spermo Plasmoids’. The special effects are even worse than in Jurassic Porn. The film is so ridiculous, it’s hard (ooh-err) to take it seriously on any level. I watched it purely for journalistic purposes you understand.

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So why is it that so many people are into dino sex? Part of me wonders if it’s all just a joke that got taken out of hand (Literally Darling seems to suggest this). Perhaps someone made the first dino porno as a spoof, and people mistook this as a need from an increasingly liberated audience. I wonder what market research – if any – has been done on the audiences who consume dino erotica?

Or, perhaps, it’s because we’re struggling with the idea of sex between two tender-bodied, consenting human beings and want inhuman, cold-blooded reptile skin instead? These sexual encounters are often bound up in guilt and are often non-consensual – which suggests a sublimation of sexual drives we can’t or won’t face. It’s worth noting that the suited dinos in the porn films are literally people in disguise – while the sex pest monsters in the fiction I’ve glimpsed tend to be coded as closeted, usually powerful men, who exploit guilt-ridden characters who just can’t help themselves.

Maybe the dinosaurs represent the lizards who rule us – corporate life shafting us with its alien, snakelike appendages, then. Or is it just that we’re bored and coming up with more and more ridiculous ways to entertain ourselves?

Probably it’s all of these things on different levels. Our appetite for sexuality that ravages us echoes our submissiveness in the workplace and society. Our desire for things that are inexcusable and intolerable reflects the denial of human drives for connection that have become twisted and abstracted to monstrous levels. And we’re all more connected than ever, finding ourselves interacting in smaller and smaller corners of the web, where niches become micro-niches … and where dino porno can be both a joke and a serious fetish.

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Gotta love human beings, right?

About Daniel Wren

Vada Magazine staff writer. Interested in travel, news, politics and dating.