Catch up on Oli’s experiences so far here.
A few days later Sean and Dom both left Brighton and I suddenly felt like I had been left abandoned, I was in a new city and the only people I had met were on drunken nights out in clubs. Pride was almost over and I wanted to ensure I made the most of every part of it. I picked up my phone and text Mitch, we had spoken several times since he first messaged me a couple of days before hand and seemed to have a lot in common.
He told me he was going to head to the St James’s Street party in a couple of hours and invited me to go along with him. I couldn’t wait this was my chance to get to meet new people, of course again we would be getting drunk but it seemed a little easier to be sociable during the day.
“Hey it’s great to see you again.” Mitch said as he walked up to me on the street. “How have you enjoyed pride so far?” He asks me.
“Hi Mitch, it’s good to see you too. It’s been great so far thanks, haven’t spent too much time sober though if I’m honest.”
He gave me a big grin, “I would think badly if you hadn’t really this is the perfect weekend to do it.”
A bottle of wine and a few beers later the pair of us had begun to get a little drunk and instead of using this opportunity to make friends the pair of us held eye contact for a little longer than was normal.
“You’re hot but I’m a bottom.” He told me.
“And that creates a problem why?” I ask him.
“Well you’re not exactly the most butch of guys I have ever met.” He says.
At that moment I could tell he was teasing me, so I pushed him up against the window of Prowler, held his hands above his head and kissed him passionately on the lips. He didn’t stop me instead I could feel his breathing quicken as he gripped hold of my hands.
“Maybe I was wrong, let’s go back to my place.” He panted in my ear.
It wasn’t something I had planned to do but before I knew it the pair of us were in the back of a taxi going back to Mitch’s house. He pulled me in close and began to kiss me again. He began rubbing my lap, as he felt my bulge he whispered in my ear. “You’re making me so horny, I need to have you inside me right now.”
We managed to make it through the front door of his house separated before we were all over each other again. The pair of us couldn’t even make it up the stairs, instead I had him balanced on the banister, his legs wrapped around my waist.
As we lay there on the hallway floor all sweaty and worn out he looked into my eyes and said “That was amazing, what are you doing tomorrow? Would you like to go to dinner with me?”
“Sure, that sounds good to me.” I answered.
It continued this way for the next couple of weeks, and then one evening after an extremely quiet dinner Mitch looked up at me and said “I think we are moving too quickly, we need to take thing a bit slower. I think we should spend at least a few days apart.”
I hadn’t seen it coming, things had been working so well between us it really was the last thing I had expected him to say to me.
I explained to Ricky the next day what had happened the night before. Ricky was a guy who worked in one of the local gay bars that I had been in to a few nights before. He was a thirty year old who had a great sense of humour and seemed to love that I was his new plaything that he could show around the city.
“Sweety you’re fresh meat, of course he wanted to bed you as soon as possible.” He told me.
“Fresh meat? What the fuck does that mean?” I asked him.
“You’re new to the area, no one knows you and you haven’t slept with anyone in the city. Well you hadn’t slept with anyone in the city.” He says with a slight grin on his face. “The minute it is known that someone is new to an area all the guys go mad to be the first one to bed them. It’s like a competition and once someone has managed it you just become tarnished.”
Was what Ricky had told me right? Are men just out to be your first. Was there a thought that once you had been with that first person you are then no longer as desirable?
“So what now that he’s had me that’s it I’m ruined? Like a top that has been worn for the first time and had a glass of wine spilt over it?” I ask him.
“Yes you could put it like that.” He says smiling, “Mitch knew full well that if he got you in to bed he would be your first.”
“But it’s not like I was a virgin when I met him, I had slept with a fair amount of people before I moved here. “ I said still not quite able to get my head around what he was saying.
“Babe I really need to teach you a few things. Brighton isn’t any where near as big as people make out, it is far more insestuous than people will ever admit.” He told me. “Everyone here has slept with everyone, trust me soon enough you will realise that you will not be able to meet someone around here that hasn’t slept with someone else you know.”
I had never been in this situation before, having been from a small town where there really weren’t that many places to meet gay guys it had never really been something I had thought about. Now that I had slept with Mitch was I really tarnished?
“Once you have been here a while you will see. I mean before you know it we will have people in common, I can guarantee it.” He continued.
I began to think to myself are we living in a time that people have become so sexually open that it is impossible for us to meet a guy that hasn’t been involved with one of our friends? Is there a chance for us to settle down with someone that could well have been with someone else that we know? I wondered now that I had slept with Mitch had it in turn had an affect on who I will be able to settle down with in the future?
Being new to the city I had come into things without really thinking about what consequences my actions would have, but Ricky was right it is often very difficult for us to meet someone in the city who has not slept with someone else we know. Knowing something like this so early on really can change the way you see someone. The main issue seems to be whether we can look past this aspect and not let it bother us.
Looking at the idea more broadly I realised it is a similar case in all situations, everyone we become involve with has other people in their past, of course, this was not a situation I was new to. I was not bothered by the idea of someone I was involved with having been involved with someone else, that was something I could easily look past. The thing that I had a real issue with was that I would know the person they had been involved with and it would be all too easy for me to picture them with my friend. Even if they had been involved long before I had met them it really did tarnish the image for me.
As much as this bothered me it seemed that I was not the only person it happens to, it is all too common in Brighton to meet a guy who has already slept with one of your friends. With the all to realistically small size of the gay scene it seemed to me that it would be next to impossible to meet a guy who didn’t know any of my friends let alone had slept with them. In this I began to understand the want to someone who had just moved to the city. There really was an appeal to know that no one else had been there first. I started to see just why people really liked the idea of “fresh meat”.
It may not happen very often but every now and again we do bump into that guy that will utter the sentence we all want to hear “Oh I have just moved to the city”. From that moment it is a chance to ensure we are the first person they are with, with any luck it will continue that way or we let them move on and sure enough you will hear about them again soon enough through a friend.