Is being a porn star as good as at seems?

Vada Voices

Vada Voices showcases the best that our readers have to offer with a range of one-off articles, reactions and comments. To get involved with Vada Voices please email adamlowe@vadamagazine.com.
Vada Voices

Latest posts by Vada Voices (see all)

Recent events have inspired me to write a piece on taking part in porn as it can be life-changing, and not always in a good way. But first let me explain how I got into it.

When I was 18 I was made redundant from a well paid job. Even worse, it was on payday, I was in a lot of debt and I was struggling to help my parents out with the mortgage and keeping a roof over my head. I looked online for jobs and ‘fast ways to earn cash’ and one thing kept recurring: ‘gay porn’.

As I was desperate, I applied for a few websites and all I needed was a face and body picture as well as filling out a small form on my height, weight and body type, etc. I submitted all my forms and photos and didn’t really think too much of it. I wasn’t expecting a reply. A couple of days later I received an email from a director saying he was interested and he wanted to talk to me on Skype to discuss it further.

I added the director who was a very friendly guy and we talked on what my experience was (not a lot at that point), what I would be willing to do and if the cameras would bother me. After answering a few of his questions he invited me to travel up and take part in a shoot for £200 cash and all my expenses paid, for a few hours’ work. I agreed and a few weeks later headed up to the shoot, nervous as hell on what seemed like the longest train journey in the world (even though it was only three hours), asking myself whether I should just stay on the train and head back.

I managed to pull myself together and get off the train. I met the producer at the station and from there I headed to a clinic to be tested on the spot to see if I had any STIs. I met one of the big stars in porn and was pretty shocked that he would be tagging along just to help out and watch. After I got the all-clear I waited outside and was then picked up to head to where the shoot was being filmed.

During the car journey I discovered that I was doing a three-way – and not only that, I was being filmed outside! I tried my best to keep my cool by talking to the other models, introducing myself and even coming up with a name which hadn’t occurred to me until then.

We arrived at the area we were filming in and I was given an outfit to wear to help set the scene. With a touch of makeup, the cameras started rolling. The shoot was well organised and the guys I filmed with were professionals, so I was lucky in a sense and I managed to do everything needed without a problem. After I was paid my money, I had a bite to eat and was dropped back of at the train station – it was as easy as that.

The models I worked with then passed my details on to other companies. Before I knew it I was travelling around the UK for the next few months, starring in porn, meeting lots of guys, making friends and earning some money so I could live. What more could I ask for?

After a few months I managed to get a full-time job, and as most porn companies only work Monday to Friday my porn days were over almost instantly. I was a bit sad at first but thought it was for the best and a steady, secure income is a lot better.

It was over the coming years I started to realise what starring in porn had cost me. Surprisingly, I never actually watched any of my own videos when I was still taking part, but it’s when I stopped that I noticed how easy it was to run a Google Image Search on myself. A few clicks and everything came up – there was a link to every producer and website I’d worked for. To make it worse, a lot of what I had done was embarrassing and very cringe-worthy – what worried me from that point was who was going to see it!

I thought I had dodged a bullet – that all I had done was somehow lost because so much more had been released. I even checked shops and was glad to see a lot of the films I’d been in had disappeared off the shelves. I felt lucky – until my friend sent me a picture last week.

It was a picture of myself blown up on the front of a London-based LGBT+ magazine. The picture was quite old and if I’m honest it wasn’t the best one of me out there. It had my porn name written across the front. I’ve not had any negative comeback from this but it’s always going to be a worry on my mind.

Overall I enjoyed the experience and am glad to have met all those I did when working in the industry over that short space of time. But I would just like to warn anyone who is thinking about doing it to please consider the future – is a couple of hundred pounds worth having a video and lots of pictures out there on the internet forever?

Related Post