Why Do We Have a Problem with Gay Sex?

Jeffrey Moses

I’m a young, humble Nairobian with a global outlook towards life.I live by the golden rule; do unto others as you want them to do unto you.I found my voice in my writing; it is as if I found my way home.I am alive as a writer.

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What is it about two men, naked, enjoying each other’s bodies at will, expressing their desire for another man: what is it about this scenario that creates such passionate debate and uproar around the world? Even in countries where homosexuality is recognized, respected and represented in legislation, the topic of two men making love is one that many would rather avoid.

Even gay men themselves beat about the bush when it comes to the issue, they speak about it in hushed tones, placing a shy hand over the mouth; lest someone reads the lips and can discern that they’re talking about gay sex. Just the mere thought that two, or more, men are right now making sweet -albeit illicit to many- love to each other is enough to light fires in Parliament in many countries, start a riot on the street, get schools shut down. Simply put, the topic of homosexuality is quite literary a Pandora’s box.

We live in a world where most of the conclusions we draw about people or phenomena we don’t understand is based purely- most likely subconsciously- on assumptions, hearsay and stereotypes. That is why when a straight ‘heterosexual’ man sees me walk into a room, he immediately judges me without as much as knowing my name or history and decides that since I’m gay, I want to have sex with every man in the room and that I have no personal code of conduct. I am lacking in self respect and I have no personal preferences. I cannot help but feel saddened by the misconception that gay men are defined purely by who they sleep with. Is there nothing else that I can be perceived on other than sex?

Everybody whose sexual orientation and gender identity sets them apart from what is conventionally seen as ‘norms and practices of society’ is tasked with the responsibility to create and carry themselves in a manner that puts them in a positive light as people and the lifestyles they lead on a day-to-day basis. I can only aggravate the current situation if, when a microscope is cast upon me, I am found to also be abiding by these very stereotypes that we are struggling so much to break free from.

We must fight negative notions that build up to form stereotypes, the change must begin from within. What these are applies differently to all of us, but the objective cuts across all borders. We cannot sit back and let other people who know little about us, or the struggles we live through, define how and with whom we live our lives, be it through public opinion or national legislation.