You’re not welcome here – Straighty go home!
Apparently, the word on the street is that one particular gay venue in London recently blocked a straight couple from entering, because they weren’t gay. It seems that this is part of their effort to keep gay venues a safe place for gay people without the unwanted staring and ogling of so-called tourists. I for one, applaud you mr-bouncer (or ms.-bouncer). Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Personally, when I go out for a night with the boys, I want to enjoy my night out, have a few drinks and then dance with other boys. There’s nothing more annoying to me than walking into the local gay bar and seeing that it’s 3/4 full with a hen-night: a bunch of rowdy girls drunk off their minds, looking to dance with some hot boys without having to explain anything to their own husbands/boyfriends or worry about being asked to go home with him. All I see is a big bunch of cock-blockers. I want to dance with other hot boys. Not with almost-middle-aged women who think that having a gay friend makes them ‘hip’ or ‘cool’. And I certainly don’t want to spend the night on the dance floor fending off attacks from oversized handbags casually flung over shoulders while dancing. Ugh.
When I lived in Australia (and this one time on an odd gay-night out in Paris) I often had to navigate the groups of female tourists lining the path from the door to the bar, to the dance floor, just watching all the gay men walk through the club. It’s like having a little catwalk for a fashion show, except the audience bursts into uncontrollable fits of laughter any time they see guys kissing, dancing together, drinking or walking. It’s weird. It’s like being a monkey in a zoo, although apparently it’s not ok to throw poo at the visitors.
I go to gay bars to have a good time with my mates, and (if I am anywhere except the small town I call home these days) pick up a nice boy. I don’t go to be the entertainment for young straights (or middle-aged straights for that matter). And yes, I know some say that they prefer going to a gay bar so they don’t get hit on by all the guys. Personally I put that in the category of straight guys not going to gay bars because all the guys will hit on them. If you don’t want to be hit on, why don’t you just politely say ‘no thanks, I’m just here with my girlfriends tonight’ and walk away? Don’t come to a gay bar and mess up the good thing we’ve got going here.
The same thing could also be said for fag-hags I guess, though I’ve never had one, but really, I’m actually ok with you coming to the bar with your gay friend, but I’m pretty sure your job is wing-woman for the night. He’s not going to take you home, he’s going to take me home.
We’ve already got so few places where it’s ok to be together – in the town I live in, there are zero gay night clubs, and I get asked frequently if the club I work with is a club for gays or for “normal” people if there’s a gay couple on the dance floor. It’s taken years of riots, parades, political protests, police raids, lock-ups, and murders for us to fight to have a space that we are safe to be ourselves, get drunk, dance with a cute boy, bitch about some random’s shirt from last-season, and stumble home drunk with a hopefully hot guy. You straighties have plenty of places to go – most of them in fact. In some cities, all of them are yours. Stay out of ours.