It’s toff at the top: fox hunting and the ‘class war’

Yesterday, in a move sure to have the Vegan Society sharpening their pitchforks, David Cameron, notorious ersatz-human, promised to bring back fox hunting if the Tories win the General Election next year.

And this morning some woman called Melissa Kite over at The Guardian declared the ban on hunting a ‘class war’ against toffs in red coats. She then decried anti-hunting advocates who fail to take into consideration the horse-faced upper classes in their pursuit of welfare for the horses.

Hunting is a barbaric sport. Even with the removal of the fox in the Hunting Act of 2004, hunting still involves a pack of dogs following the scent of a fox which is artificially spread around the countryside. Then, the brandy-soaked aristocrats will mount their horses and gallop around the countryside after the dogs.

Kite believes that those who are against hunting are hypocrites as many of them allow fishing and eat meat. Well to Melissa Kite, I say this: fishing and the consumption of slaughtered animals is barbaric and the sign of an immoral society. And having not eaten meat for nine years, nor animal products for four years, I feel like I can sit on my high horse and judge her.

You can see why the upper classes love hunting. The relentless pursuit and destruction of a creature seen as ‘vermin’ by those in high society who are aided by a large and manipulated middle man? Where have we seen this before…

And of course David Cameron supports this. Of course David Cameron is currying favour with the upper-classes. After years of cuts and wage freezes and tightening our belts, he sure as hell can’t depend on votes from the working classes.

‘We’re all in this together!’ was the infamous cry. Well no, we’re not. MPs aren’t going without meals so their children can eat. MPs aren’t walking to work instead of paying for the bus. MPs aren’t eating toast for every meal because they can’t afford anything else.

Instead, they and their ilk are paying for hunting licenses, for the purchase and ‘care’ of the horses and for their dogs. They are paying for the privilege of hunting. They are so far removed from real life in the United Kingdom that they see a class war as being against an elitist, barbaric and stupid institution.

The real class war is being waged against students, the disabled, the unemployed, families, the elderly, the mentally or physically ill and all those who fail to toe the policy line of the Tories. It is not being waged against people like Melissa Kite, much as I’d like it to be.

I think it’s time we took advice from our American friends – distrust anyone wearing a red coat and, if possible, shoot them with a musket.

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