- Oh The Agony: Beach Bodies, Teacher Crushes and Crabs - 21 June, 2013
- Oh The Agony! Burlesque, Stress and Exes - 7 June, 2013
- Oh The Agony - 10 May, 2013
Problem #1: I’ve been chatting to this guy on Grindr. He’s seriously so hot. He’d be perfect. I kinda get the feeling that he’s too good to be true though. I don’t want to be Catfished! What would you do?
Dear Grinding for love,
In the words of HRH Jessie J, nobody’s perfect, and of course you know that too- so what you’re really asking me is whether he’s real. Now, how #real someone has to be depends entirely on your intentions. If this is all for a one night stand and you’re only interested in looks then find his facebook/instagram/twitter- don’t believe him if he says he doesn’t have them- and look for multiple pictures of the person you’ve seen on Grindr and a lot of friend interaction.
Usually If you find evidence of these two things then he’s going to be legit, it’s very complicated to maintain a realistic online presence if you’re faking it. But if you’re looking for something potentially more serious then it’s worth meeting for a face to face chat in a public place. You don’t want to get messed around emotionally by someone with a wife at home, so do your best lie detector impression and try and figure out what his game is.
Or you never know, he could be Mr. Perfect after all.
Problem #2: I’ve always wanted a tattoo but have always chickened out. My gf has a few and says I should bite the bullet. Scared I’m gonna regret it though! Does it hurt? What should I get which won’t look tragic in 50 years?
Dear Tempted-by-tatts,
First off, girl get a backbone. This tattoo is going on YOUR body and is going to be a part of YOUR life, FOREVER. Don’t do this cause your girlfriend tells you to, this has to be your decision. Laser removal is expensive and it hurts.
Did that scare you? If it did- have a long hard think about it, and if it didn’t then you’re probably a fly by the seat of your pants kinda gal and you’re probably not going to care what tattoo you get, just get some abstract nouns tattooed onto your wrists and be done with it.
The most important thing is to find a reputable tattoo artist, ask to see your friends’ tattoos and get them to tell you who did it and their experience at the shop. You want to hear about hygienic work stations, artists taking their time and pre-tattoo discussions about their ideas. Pay particular attention to hygiene and I’d try and get it done in this country- a bad tattoo is for life but hep C can be fatal.
I’ve never been tattooed (although there’s someone walking around with a tattoo OF me), but I’ve heard from various reliable sources that it hurts like a burning cat scratch- not pleasant- but the pain is only temporary and is well worth it for a bad-ass inking. If you’re a real wuss but are 100% set on getting some artwork, then you can always get something really tiny at first, and come back a second time if you think you can handle it.
However, my top tip for gauging whether you and your tattoo are meant to be 2geva 4eva or just a temporary thing is to try and expose yourself to the word/picture/design for as long as possible before you make it permanent. Stick it on your mirror, draw it on the back of your hand, make it the background on your phone and show it to anyone who’ll look. If you can live for a month being bombarded with an image and still love it at the end then it might just be perfect.
As for looking trag in 50 years- just avoid getting it on your face and nobody will have to see it. Plus have you any idea how many seventy year olds are going to be walking around with Cheryl Cole hand squiggles in 50 years? I’m sure whatever you come up with will be much more original. Alternatively you can always get it tattooed over with something more age appropriate: maybe some Werther’s originals or the National Trust logo- then show it off to the envy of all your elderly mates.
Choose wisely.
