Oh the Agony!

Sam Johnson
Latest posts by Sam Johnson (see all)

Vada’s Agony Aunt, Sam Johnson, dishes out his dose of HARD LOVE. This week: Date Cheat, Long Distance Lover & Hairy Back.


I had a date with a guy the other day, stuff happened, quite liked the guy. Added him on Facebook afterwards and it turns out he has a longterm boyfriend. I feel really cheap and used. Should I confront him?

Probably not. If he’s either stupid or crass enough to accept you on Facebook when he’s in a relationship, he isn’t worth the hassle.

Shame on you for putting out on the first date, too. The first date is to assess whether the guy is worth stalking on Facebook before committing to a romp. Some purists will stalk before the first date to save wasting any time.

Unfortunately, feeling cheap is a consequence of living in the gay community in this day and age and there isn’t an immediate cure. Stick with it and you’ll find a guy who’s been made to feel as cheap and used as you and you’ll fall deep in pitiful love.


My girlfriend has just had a job offer in London. I’m in Manchester and we love each other but you hear total horror stories about long distance relationships. She’d be stupid to turn the job down, so I want her to take it, but I don’t want to lose her. How do we make it work long distance?

Long distance is a passion killer. I need more information.

Why can’t you move down with her?


I have a really hairy back. It makes me feel like a gorilla and so unsexy. You can tell it puts guys off too when they see me naked. I’ve tried shaving and it just grew back pretty quickly. What do I do? How can I control the jungle?

You probably can get razors with long enough handles to do it easily but it’s not something you want to be doing before an evening of passion. Invest in one of those home laser hair removal kits and an extremely willing friend to help and then go to town on it.

Also good advice if you can’t afford a Sphynx cat.

About Sam Johnson

Sam - interested in all things brash, tasteless and gold. Doesn't beat around the bush. Doesn't take prisoners. Here to save the world, one gay at a time.