Oh the Agony! Housebound Gays, Grindr Cheat & Lonely Lesbian

Sam Johnson
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Vada’s resident Agony Aunt, Sam Johnson, dishes out this week’s dosage of HARD LOVE: Housebound Gays, Grindr Cheat & Lonely Lesbian.


The bf wants to move in together. We’ve been together a year. Is it too soon? I love him but I don’t want to be one of those couples who rush into things and have a dramatic break up pretty much straight away. How do you know if you’re ready?

Relationships are just one big evaluation of how well you cope shackled to one person without murdering them. Moving in together, for a gay couple, is the biggest of these tests.

I can’t tell if you’re rushing into things but referring to your other half as ‘the bf’ isn’t a great start.

If he’s dead set on doing it then I will give you one piece of advice from personal experience that has proved invaluable to me; you need a minimum of two bathrooms. If your outrageous, homosexual morning routines collide they will cause the house to implode like on one of those old episodes of the Twilight Zone.

I give it a month.

I saw my friend’s boyfriend on grindr. I feel like I should tell my friend, but don’t want to cause drama. Maybe it’s nothing?

Do what any sensible person would do; create a fake grindr profile, seduce the boyfriend, meet up with him and take your friend along. Drama will ensue but at least your friend isn’t with a cheating loser and you’ll get some dick pics out of it, too.

The other thing to do is take the boyfriend aside, tell him that you’re going to kneecap him and leave him for dead if he doesn’t leave your friend alone.

Happy seducing.

I find it so hard to find lesbians like me. I work 9-5 and all my friends are from work and pretty straight. How do you girls get out there?

I couldn’t be further from the right person for you to ask.

Women’s football clubs?

Women’s rugby clubs?

Women’s hockey clubs?

Women’s netball clubs?


I honestly don’t know.

About Sam Johnson

Sam - interested in all things brash, tasteless and gold. Doesn't beat around the bush. Doesn't take prisoners. Here to save the world, one gay at a time.

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