Oh The Agony! Sweaty Mess, Living With Blanche & The Friend’s Ex

Sam Johnson
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Vada Agony Aunt Sam Johnson dishes out this week’s hard love: Sweaty Mess, Living With Blanche & The Friend’s Ex.


I am a sweaty mess over the summer. Don’t know why, just am. It’s possibly the least sexy thing ever. Any tips on how to chill?

Wear less?

If your pits are enough to knock out passing felines, you can get Botox injected into them on the good old NHS. I was thinking about having this done to cut down on dry-cleaning bills; let me know if you do it. Might give it a go.


My housemate keeps chatting to guys on grindr and asking them round. It was ok at first but I really don’t want to hear him shagging all the time. It’s a bit dodgy too. He’s so loud and has no shame! What can I do? Our straight housemates are a bit weirded out by it too but he just laughs it off.

Living with a slut; hilarious in the Golden Girls but when it comes to real life it isn’t all punchy 80s one-liners and pastel suits.

Leave huge tubs of herpes cream and pamphlets about AIDS testing dotted around his room. I’d run a mile. Knowing the calibre of Grindr boys though, it might not deter them.

The other option is far too outrageous to even be considered; tell him to fucking stop. It’s not just his house, having strangers round all the time isn’t OK when you’re sharing. Don’t mention the fact that he has nasty, loud sex and -that- is what’s bothering everybody because he’ll pull the gay rights card.

Grow some balls.


Honest to god I didn’t know it, but I ended up pulling my friend’s ex last weekend. I only found out afterwards that they were together for years. My friend doesn’t know, but she’s a bit funny about all that. I feel so guilty. Should I tell her? How should I break it to her?

Being a homosexual male, I sometimes find it hard to put myself in the mindset of a lesbian. In the man-on-man world this practice is deemed perfectly acceptable, even encouraged maybe. Plaid. Plaid’s the other thing that I don’t understand about your people.

It’d be helpful to know if you are considering forming a relationship with this person. If it was only a 15 minute love affair, I wouldn’t get worked up about telling her. Explain that it was a total accident and that you simply fell onto her numerous times without your clothes on.

If it’s a relationship that you seek, then I’d consult your friend properly before you go any further. It’d probably be a bad idea to go for it without talking to her because she’ll find out and then you look like a dick. Actually, you’ll look bad if you don’t tell her either way.

Straight up, just tell her.

About Sam Johnson

Sam - interested in all things brash, tasteless and gold. Doesn't beat around the bush. Doesn't take prisoners. Here to save the world, one gay at a time.