We know how sexual intercourse works – one partner is receptive (‘bottom’), receiving a hard cock up the bum, and the other is insertive (‘top’), thrusting the hard cock up the bum – but usually we have to figure out for ourselves what works in bed. While some of us do so using relationships, and others do so having an orgy in a sauna, we all need a little help in the beginning. So here is the basic coverage of gay sex positions.
Thanks in advance to my partner for his help in writing this by putting up with intensive interrogation at inappropriate moments.
Note on terminology: throughout this article I will be using the words ‘bottom’ to describe the receptive partner, and ‘top’ to describe the insertive partner. These are terms used as adjectives to the act and not nouns to the individuals in the positions, and are not in any way intended to offend or demonise anyone who uses those terms in similar or different circumstances.
A commonsense note: Please do bear in mind that if, at any time, either you or your partner is unhappy with any sexual encounter, it’s important that you both back off and discuss what does and doesn’t work for you.
Good For: Kissing, nipple play, prostate stimulation, threesomes, BDSM, foot play
Bad For: Hard ramming, long sessions
Descriptive: This is where the bottom is on their back, legs akimbo and the top is inserting their member into the anal passage of the bottom
This is called the ‘missionary’ of gay sex positions because this is the closest to heterosexual lovemaking that two men can get (or two women with a strap-on – there is no judgement here), as there is no self-lubricating frontal passage that allows for the biological necessity of sexual intercourse in men.
With most erections, dicks curve up, meaning that in this position the head can rub against the prostate, causing the bottom intense pleasure as it is the male equivalent of a G-spot (sometimes referred to as the ‘P-spot’).
While thrusting, the top can lean in close for kissing, or lean back to play with other organs. If into domination, this position can easily be achieved with restraints for the bottom.
If achieved correctly with enough lube this can be entirely pleasurable for both parties, as the top of the head of the penis is being stimulated at the same time as the prostate. My partner enjoys it as he gets especially aroused by nipple play and being kissed on the neck – both very easy to do in this position.
Good For: Hard ramming, BDSM, prostate stimulation, long sessions, threesomes/group sex, fisting
Bad For: Kissing, nipple play, romance
Descriptive: The bottom is on their hands and knees, while the top takes them from behind. Probably the most obvious of sex positions as it exists in nature, like its name suggests.
Protip: The ideal angle for the penis is at 15 degrees to the bottom’s belly. This makes for the easiest entry into his back passage.
‘Don’t you ever just want to be really pounded hard… you know?’ Yes, Charlotte, we do – sometimes you just need a good hard fuck, and this is the position for it.
Given a bad reputation for its associations with less mainstream sex acts, doggy style is a good position for when you just want a really good, hard pounding, regardless of whether you are top, bottom or versatile.
As long as the bottom can relax their sphincter sufficiently, this can be immeasurably pleasurable for both parties as, yet again, it allows for prostate and penile stimulation. The focus here is on intercourse itself and the pleasure with the act itself.
Personally I am not a huge fan of doggy style because it is only really useful if you are trying to escape the way someone looks, but it is quite handy if you are wanting to assert dominance as a top. As my relationship with my BF is comfortable enough that we are both happy to assert dominance and submission as and when we want to, this is an excellent position for when one of us is being more dominant as a top.
Good For: Hard ramming, BDSM, prostate stimulation, kissing, nipple play
Bad For: Fisting, threesomes/groups
Descriptive: The top is on their back and the bottom lowers themselves onto the top’s member, inserting it up their arse, then undulating backwards and forwards, or up and down, to achieve the desired effect.
This is another good position for asserting dominance, but for the bottom this time, as they are completely in control, allowing for use of restraints on the top. Also, if you are new to bottoming, the control of the situation and of the entry of the penis means that you may find it easier for the first time than in a different position where the top is inserting.
Also, because this is one of the few gay sex positions that is all about the pleasure of the bottom, this is one where they can find a position that really hits their spot and grind on it as hard as they want – while it is still pleasurable as a top, you’re just along for the rid (pun intended).
As before, I have my moments of submissiveness where I just want to be dominated and this is the perfect position for it, as it allows my partner to take control and do everything he wants to, although I don’t think restraints will ever come into it because he likes it when I play with his nipples too much.
This is also one of those positions where if you are more of a top than a bottom, and you are feeling particularly lazy, you can just lie there and let the bottom do all the work. As long as you can maintain an erection, you shouldn’t have any issues.
Spooning Leads to Forking
Good For: Romance, comfort, prostate stimulation, nipple play
Bad For: Hard ramming, BDSM, fisting, threesome/groups
Descriptive: While the top is the big spoon and the bottom is the little spoon, this can move into a sexual position if the top shuffles down to allow for easier insertion and the bottom either lifts their legs up or brings them closer to their chest.
Alright, so the picture is a terrible depiction, but if you can imagine that but on their sides then you will get the idea. This is definitely one for people who are more involved than just casual sex, as it is definitely more intimate because you are cuddling before and you can easily cuddle afterwards too. Again this requires more of an undulating movement, but from the top as it is more difficult to gain traction if one hip is inhibited by being pinned against the bed/floor/whatever. With enough stimulation it can produce very pleasurable results.
To be honest this is my go-to sex position, because it allows equal distribution of workload and allows me to stimulate my partner’s erogenous areas at the same time as having sex. This makes it easier for him to get off which is half the fun for me. It also means that if you are cuddled up and napping and you want to just break into having sex, it is quite natural to do so from that position – assuming consent of course – and is easy enough for either party to initiate (a bottom can always shuffle round and back on to the cock, for example). The intimacy is derived from that feeling of closeness and is especially good with a partner.
What are your favourite gay sex positions? Let us know in the comments below.
Images courtesy of Neil DaCosta taken from his site The Book of Mormon Missionary Positions