Pete Simpson

So it’s mid-morning and a you take a little break from the spread sheets at your desk, have a cuppa and whip out the chocolate fingers for your elevenses. While doing so you have a little check of your twitter feed. Yep, Kim Kardashian has just been shopping again, Kerry Katona is back on in someone’s crack bag and Michael from IT just tweeted he fancies his married boss three times his age.

Some things though are just not suitable for the work PC. We’ve all done it though right, clicked on that one hot followers latest picture because they’ve hash tagged the words #topless or #bathtweet, and before you know it there’s an erect penis on your screen and your manager walks past, next thing you’re in the office getting a disciplinary for downloading indecent images. So what make us want to tweet using certain hash tags, and what does it achieve?

One of the latest hash tags I’ve seen ‘pop up’ on twitter is #flopitoutfriday where tweeters post pictures of them in public flopping out their genitalia in a public place. From golf courses, to on the tube in rush hour, this hash tags demonstrates people exposing themselves all over the place. There are even tweets with people asking followers if they should take part in the hash tag, encouraging a certain level of egging on to post such a photo.

Of course as well as other such hash tags as #thongthursday, #masterbatemonday and possibly the most famous #nakedsunday, it appears twitter is becoming a cheap porn site for many. Looking through the folk who post these hash tags, it’s pretty clear we can blame the gays for over a third of the posts too. So #nakedsunday gets posts from guys all over the world getting their kit off and flaunting their naked bodies on the web in all sorts of poses.

So the odd bit of nudity if OK right? My boyfriend once almost drunkenly posted a picture of me on twitter completely starkers on holiday, so I was a tad annoyed but it’s not like it was a sexual picture it was though, after all just me with my cock out on a beach in Stiges. Luckily though it never made it to twitter and I am pretty careful on what I (and he) post, no one needs to see this body naked while munching on their cornflakes. A harmless naked holiday snap in my opinion though it may have been, and on reflection probably not that offensive, but why do so many guys post pictures of them posed ready for sex, a full on erect penis for all to see? Does it make them horny, get those increased followers from guys not able to search the net for adult material from a naughty site, or are they using twitter for a no strings hook up, or possibly all three? In the meantime, they’ve turned a social media platform into a site full of debauchery and X-rated scenes you wouldn’t even catch on the Adult Channel 8pm preview.

So many people post pictures of their torsos pumped and sweaty after the gym, or holiday snaps, unlike mine, where you’re on the beach wearing at least some budgie smugglers. Using any of the above hash tags though is assisting those folk, whose sex lives are clearly not fulfilled, to get their fix of a guy’s throbbing rod on a Sunday morning. It’s probably not the best idea to post such pictures, as with screen shots and saving images, who knows who is keeping that picture and may post it back on your feed in five years’ time?

You wouldn’t walk down the street naked, but gays of the world, you’d happily put it on the internet for all to see. Perhaps it is to do with enforcement and endorsement. Currently there is no ban on erections and pre sex pictures of yourself to be posted on the internet. No one will arrest you as they would if you were to flash on the bus, yet there is still something that feels a little wrong about exposing it all like that in the net.

This slightly naughty feeling maybe is another reason so many do it, plus being a little bit of a devil can give you the most satisfying amount of excitement. Back to that idea of endorsement though, we all like to receive compliments, and perhaps this is just another forum to seek approval, a case of, if you’ve got it, flaunt it. That concept in itself is not a new one though, previous phenomenon’s such as website ‘hot or not’ have been doing this for years, twitter is now just bringing this gratification to the mainstream.

So if you take two things from reading this, let them be this: while at work don’t click on any images or tweets with hash that containing ‘naked’, ‘flop’ or a day of the week, not even #tickletuesday or #wombatwednesday. Nothing is sacred and all should be approached with care. Secondly, if you don’t want that penis picture to come back and haunt you on your wedding day, don’t post it! Alternatively, if you insist, please all go now get naked and tweet me using the appropriate hash tag. #penisforpete

About Pete Simpson

Pete is a 20 year old (and some) guy who describes himself as a social entrepreneur. He is an LGBT charity trustee and was voted best dressed male 2004 at sixth form college. Often found with a beer, in Birmingham, London or Milton Keynes. Twitter @cardboardcakes