5 tips for a mature, adult break-up

5 tips for a mature, adult break-up
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Tim Firmager

Tim divides his time being a Digital Consultant in The City and as a food and travel writer across the globe. When he's not working as one of the Lifestyle Editors here at Vada, he's planning his next trip, or on the lookout for the latest food crazes or unusual foods in London's markets.
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Unfortunately break-ups are an inevitable part of some relationships, which are emotionally tough for both people involved. And there is no difference at all whether this is a same-sex or straight relationship. Life Coach, Carole Ann Rice provides 5 tips to break up with your partner maturely, like an adult.

Sometimes it is obvious there is something wrong between the two of you, other times a break-up can come as more of a shock for one person. As easy as it would be to send your partner a text and flee to Mexico, there are many more mature solutions to breaking up with a partner. Healthy communication should play a part in all mature, adult relationships, and during a break-up this shouldn’t be different.

  1. DON’T BE A COWARD – don’t have a break-up over text, or email, or any other passive aggressive way. It’s important to be decent, polite and well-mannered. Don’t be childish, ungracious or rude. Just because you weren’t compatible doesn’t mean you should end things badly with your partner. You should try and end on a kind, gentle and face-to-face note.
  2. BE HONEST – there’s no need to lie in the situation, be honest and apologetic.
  3. DON’T GET ABUSIVE – don’t start to pick out all the bad points in them, e.g. “I always hated it when you chewed loudly when you were eating”. If you’re ending the relationship there is no need to bring up these things. This will only cause them to retaliate and create a messy situation. Stay objective.
  4. NO REGRETS – although it’s hard, try not to have regrets at the point of a break-up. Looking back and thinking it is a mistake is detrimental to both sides. It’s not a huge mistake or a massive regret, it’s just something in life that didn’t work out. Take responsibility for your decision, and appreciate the good times with shared enjoyment.
  5. BE FRIENDS – it’s entirely possible to be friends at the end of the relationship. If you have mutual likes, hobbies, etc. there’s nothing stopping you keeping the friendship door open to go forward. For example, Prince Harry and his ex-girlfriend Chelsea, who even came to his wedding. Being friends is much nicer (and often easier in the long run) than being enemies. You both know each other well enough to have each-others’ backs and support each other no matter who you end up with. At Vada, we know this may not seem appealing to all; however given the LGBT community is relatively close-knit, it is inevitable an ex will appear at some point back in your life.

For more information from Carole Ann Rice and personal development experts from Real Coaching Co, visit realcoachingco.com.

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