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Celebrity Big Brother 17 is here, and surprisingly I’ve ACTUALLY heard of some of the housemates. In fact, I’ve heard of quite a lot of them!
The housemates
As always, I bring you my initial impressions of the record breaking 16 housemates. I’m sure my opinions will change by the end of the week…
Angie Bowie
Based PURELY upon the fact that Angie Bowie was once married to the legendary David Bowie, I instantly love her. I’m hoping for lots of stories and tidbits about her time with Bowie, because this is my only interest in her. I couldn’t really care less about her work as an author and actress.
Christopher Maloney
Absolute nonentity with an annoying personality to back it up. Loathe him.
Daniella Westbrook
I was expecting to hate Daniella instantly but so far I’m pleasantly surprised. She seems honest and real – I don’t sense any fakeness about her. I think she has a vulnerability that’ll help her go far in this competition. Let’s just hope that she uses this opportunity wisely to reestablish her fledging career. You go, Daniella!
Darren Day
I’m on the fence about Darren. What little I know about him isn’t good, so I think time will tell with him. He’ll either be boring, or lusting over all of the women. I’m guessing the former.
David Gest
David Gest was legendary when he participated in I’m A Celebrity, so I’m hoping for similar things this time round. I don’t think he has a chance in hell of winning, but I think his stories and anecdotes will more than make up for it. If there’s one word to sum up David, it’s zany. And if you want three words, it’d be absolutely fucking crazy.
Gemma Collins
Oh, bore off Gemma! You couldn’t hack I’m A Celebrity and I don’t think you’ll hack Big Brother either. I hate TOWIE rejects.
Jeremy McConnell
Who?
Seriously, who?
Jeremy is nice to look at (face-wise), but that neck tattoo is disgusting. What the fuck was he thinking?!
John Partridge
I can see John Partridge getting very annoying very quickly. Before long his nice act will give way to his bitchy side and he’ll become extremely catty. Or, he might be an absolute babe. I can see him becoming mates with Darren and sparring with Winston (eugh!).
Jonathan Cheban
Again, who? A plastic wannabe. Hate him already, though he could be another zany housemate. I want another Perez.
Kristina Rihanoff
Literally have no idea who this person is and what she is famous for. I think she’ll be boring and will go pretty quickly.
Megan McKenna
She’s so far stuck to her promise not to have sex on TV after upsetting her dad. But it was touch and go there for a minute.
Nancy Dell’Olio
UTTER babe. Nancy will go far, even if it’s due to her crazy stories. I can see her getting angry very quickly when the house is on basic rations. I hope they fail their first task!
Scotty T
Scotty will win this series, no doubt about it. He’s loud and brash and he’ll flirt with all the lasses. He’ll no doubt be like previous winner Charlotte and win the hearts of the nation, unlike Rikki Guarnaccio who faded into nothingness pretty quickly. I loved him from the off!
Stephanie Davies
Based purely upon the speculation about why she was fired from Hollyoaks, I can imagine Stephanie getting drunk all the time and generally having a good time. And why not? She’ll help bring some laughs to the house, I’m sure. I hope so, anyway.
Tiffany Pollard
Who?
Winston McKenzie
Eugh! I hate Winston and his archaic homophobic comments. No, you won’t have to stand with your back to the wall because no self respecting gay man would fuck you, Winston. Utter moron.
Don’t worry about being bummed, because if it’s a toss up between you and Scotty T, I think 100% of gay men would pick Scotty. First to go, please, but only after John Partridge has torn him to shreds. They’re definitely gonna clash.
Who will win Celebrity Big Brother 17?
What are your thoughts on the celeb housemates? Sound off in the comments below.
