Photo by Juliette F
It’s top ten time again. This one does what it says on the tin really. Ten of the filthiest, smuttiest, salacious songs to stick on the stereo while you’re doing the dirty. So turn up the speakers, unscrew the poppers and enjoy.
Lil’ Kim – How Many Licks
How Many Licks is absolutely filthy. Like, really filthy. If the person you’re having sex with wears nice button-up shirts and works at Dorothy Perkins, do not play it, because he will probably get all scared and mumble something about having to go home so he can watch Great British Bakeoff.
D’Angelo – Feel Like Makin’ Love
This is proper old school seventies budget porn film funk. Moustaches, chest hair and petrol-stained tank tops. A steamy summer afternoon on the bonnet of a Cadillac, with that hot Latino guy who works at the gas station down the street.
Fischerspooner – Emerge
Now I actually have had sex to this song before, so it’s tried and tested. Can’t ask for more than that. It’s an orgasm of electro/house with hectic poppers-o’clock undertones. Turn it up, down a jagerbomb and rip off that shirt.
Nine Inch Nails – Closer
Darkly instense and deliciously dirty. This is one for the underground. It’ll rush you through the dungeons of Vauxhall and leave you gagging in a sex sling in Berlin. Scary, mad and not for the faint hearted.
Adore Delano – DTF
WE LOVE ADORE DELANO. And we love her new single DTF (DTF means Down To Fuck, btw). It’s slutty and tasteless, just like her. And that’s the kind of sex you’ll probably have while it’s playing too. Party.
Kelis – Good Stuff
Good old Kelis! She’s a dirty old mare (in the best way possible). Good Stuff is a great one. Perfect for one night stand sleaze. Lights off and lube on the sheets.
The Pretty Reckless – Follow Me Down
Taylor Momsen flexes her seductive repertoire in this sultry, skulky single. She moans and groans and goes on about being on her knees. It’s all very erotic and silly. Best served with a few shots of Jack Daniels, and a tattooed person named Kurt, or Wade, or something like that.
Peaches – Fuck The Pain Away
An absolute classic! I’ve had sex to it, you’ve had sex to it, Courtney Stodden’s probably had sex to it. Stick it on during sex, or parties, or sex parties. It’s guaranteed to go down a treat.
Kelly Rowland – Down For Whatever
OUR KELLY. There’s isn’t a single Kelly Rowland single that isn’t sexually suggestive in some way, and this song is no different. It’s totally about anal sex. Come on Kelly. It is.
Juliette & The Licks – Hot Kiss
And for our big finish, our ejaculatory conclusion one might say, it’s Hot Kiss by Juliette & The Licks! Hectic and horny, this a throw-him-around-the-room kind of track. Bit of hair pulling. Some gentle BDSM, perhaps. And then a nice cup of tea.