Shorts – Time To Get Your Pins Out!

Frazer Lough

A 19 year old Linguistics student, hailing from the great city of Newcastle. Technically a Geordie, definitely Northern.

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Summer is finally here, sort of. With the heat we have been blessed with this year it is time to put jeans to the side and replace them with shorts. In the current heat, in-between the thunderstorms, shorts are the only logical thing to wear. However, when buying shorts there are a few important questions. What is the correct length? What colour? What style?

Before we get onto wearing hardly any fabric, first I need to address the matter of having too much. Shorts should be short, it is there in the name. The longest a pair of shorts should ever be is, personally, just above the knee. However, sometimes just below the knee can be acceptable. Let’s face it though, the three quarter length trouser is wrong and should be consigned to a moshpit somewhere in 2005. They aren’t short! No longer are shorts that hang severely below the knee that acceptable.

In recent years it has been all about short shorts. For me, and wider gay dignity, there should be a limit on how short these should be. It is all dependent on what type of short it is you have chosen to go for and where you are actually wearing your shorts to. After all, we all complain when women wear shorts that are too short to actually be called shorts, so we cannot slip into the same fault. Here is a run down of three types of shorts and what you should aim for:

Dress shorts – these are perfect for occasions when you want to look a bit smart, but when it is simply too hot to not wear shorts. With these it is best not to go too short. After all, they are a formal piece of clothing and no one wants to see your upper thigh at a fancy event in the sun. With dress shorts don’t be afraid to experiment with colour. Neutrals can be great, but it is a fantastic opportunity to add a splash of colour for fancy occasions. A great pair of loafers and a shirt can be the perfect combination for an effortless, smart summer outfit that is ideal for a date on a hot summer’s evening.

Casual shorts – often in the form of denim or chino are something that I have slowly realised should be found in everyone’s wardrobe when it comes to the summer months. In this heat it is simply unrealistic to wear jeans, so don’t be afraid to get your pins out. These can be worn with boat shoes, trainers or even loafers if you want to add a touch of a formal edge to what you are wearing. If you want to go a little shorter with your shorts it is totally acceptable to do so, it isn’t a fashion crime, just my personal preference to keep them at a certain length.

Swim shorts – these are the shorts that I believe can truly be short shorts. If you’re not down at the beach or out sun bathing in the park, then these shorts probably shouldn’t be worn if you want to avoid a George Michael situation in public. I mean, I won’t complain about seeing a bit of thigh, but there’s a point where it is just too much. You aren’t auditioning for a Kylie video after all, so hot pant length are unsuitable for most occasions, unless you’re living it up in Mykonos. Patterned swim shorts are a great trend this summer, but if you aren’t a fan of the bold print you don’t have to be too extravagant with them. Simply slip on a pair of flip flops with either your short shorts or some board shorts and you are sorted for the beach/pool.

Make your own? – Buying shorts can sometimes be a nightmare. Often it is a struggle to get ones that have the desired fit you’re looking for. For some of us, actually wearing shorts can take some convincing. If you can’t find a pair that you like, there is a simple solution around this that also saves you a bit of cash. We all have a pair of jeans or chinos that we don’t wear anymore, turning these into shorts is simple. All you need to do is fold the jeans over at the knee, get a pair of sharp scissors and cut along them. Once you’ve cut them to the desired length and rolled them up, simply iron the turn up on a high heat to keep it in place!

If you don’t already have any shorts in your wardrobe I don’t know how you have survived the current heat and suggest you got about to buying some as a matter of urgency, or even make your own. The most important rule to remember when it comes to shorts it that the amount of skin on show between the hem and knee should be less than the length of your shorts! So come on lads, it’s time to put on some shorts and soak up the sun.

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