Macy See is done with perfectionism and ‘trying to be cool’

Macy See
Alastair James

The actress and singer explains the meaning behind her debut single, ‘Lonely Outside,’ and why perfection is overrated. 

In a world where everyone wants to appear as if they’re too cool for anything, Macy See is saying no. The actress-DJ-singer has not long released her debut single, ‘Lonely Outside,’ (with an EP in the works) which comes at a point in the performer’s life when she can’t be asked pretending she doesn’t care about it. “We all need to stop trying to be cool,” she says.

“This idea of like, ‘I’m too cool to say I care, or I’m too cool to ask you to listen to my music.’ I think in this world where there’s billions of pieces of media for people to enjoy you can’t feign disinterest,” she explains. “I want people to know I care. I want people to be like, ‘Wow! Macy put a lot of work into this. I’m going to support her and take the time.’ And as a new trans artist, I think that has to be done. A big part of this is: I care about this and so should you and here’s why.”

‘Lonely Outside’ came from an interaction Macy had with another trans woman who was struggling to feel desirable. As well as being a love letter to them, Macy sees the song as a “call for community,” picking up on other universal themes such as loneliness. Initially conceiving the song as being for the trans community, Macy’s been surprised at how far beyond that particular group the song has resonated with, reminding everyone that they’re not alone. “It’s such an important topic that I just don’t think people are talking about. There’s a real culture of not asking for help. And I think as queer people we need to rely on a collective energy in order to feel strong and find progress. In its simplest terms, ‘Lonely Outside’ is about saying ‘come inside and join the group’.”

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Macy See
Macy See. (Image: June Ghisolfi; Stylist: Freddy Leahly)

Connecting with producer When The Beat Is Bad Macy’s beautiful lyrics were combined with a hard garage beat. It is both an emotional ballad and a song you can dance to, qualities Macy believes make it more impactful based on her experiences as a DJ and watching people connect to music on the dancefloor. The garage music genre is new for Macy, who wanted to combine a floatiness to the hard beat leading to what she has coined, ‘ethereal garage’. “That idea of trans-ness and queerness and the blending and meshing of different identities – we wanted that in the song,” says Macy.

For Macy, who wrote music before going to drama school, ‘Lonely Outside’ is a return of sorts. It’s one she credits Riot Women, where Macy starred as part of a fictional all-women band, as inspiration. But unlike a TV show, or the theatre, another art form Macy has made a name for herself in with notable performances in As You Like It and Galatea, music offers Macy, and other trans people, a chance to express themselves more freely on their own terms. “It’s important that we can tell our stories and say our own words in our own words,”: Macy says to this point. “It’s a really great medium to allow trans artists to share ‘this is how I’m feeling and these are the words I want to use to describe it’.”

And at a time when anti-trans narratives run rife through mainstream media, with a recent report from the Kaleidoscope Trust picking up on how trans identities have been weaponised throughout time to manufacture ‘threats’, there is vital need to push back against those. Macy opines, “Having creatives make beautiful and poignant work that’s unafraid to be sexy and scary and heart-wrenching feels so important to show our 3D-ness.” At the same time, Macy feels that “connecting to people’s anger and igniting them is not a bad thing. There’s so much injustice that creating music where I’m actively provoking people or saying, ‘don’t forget about how hard life is,’ is not a bad thing.”

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Macy See
Macy See. (Image: June Ghisolfi; Stylist: Freddy Leahly)

That the majority of the crew involved in the production of ‘Lonely Outside’ and the accompanying music video are trans demonstrates the power of having trans people be in charge of their stories. Directed by Cyd Talbot, the on-the-fly video also showcases the work of trans and non-binary set designers, stylists, choreographers, and makeup artists. Macy says there was a shared feeling of ownership between everyone involved which adds to the richness of it. She also hopes, “this project is a testament to the fact that it’s not that hard to do,” meaning hiring trans artists to be a part of any kind of production.

Organisations like Trans on Screen, a directory for trans+ and non-binary professionals in film and TV, proves that trans creatives are out there, and that what some might believe is an effort to source is actually remarkably easy, with films like Koupepia demonstrating this as well. As Macy notes all people have to do is show a genuine interest in being inclusive explaining that the “richness, the purpose, and all that lived experience behind the camera is also so important.”

For now, Macy is happy to play around and see what sticks. “I’m so done with perfectionism. I’m excited by the idea of mess and DIY and just going for things. That’s what I wanted it to be.” She continues, “I just really want to encourage people to make what you want to make and do it. It can be so disheartening if you get caught in the numbers game. But if you really believe in what you want to say, there will be people who are interested in it and who are excited by it and want to hear more. This new energy of making and releasing, making and releasing, it’s a real superpower and I want more people to have that superpower. If you want to make it, make it and that will pay off. Just make it.”

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‘Lonely Outside’ is streaming now.

About Alastair James

Alastair James is a freelance writer specialising in LGBTQ+ news, current affairs, and culture. He has previously worked for Attitude Magazine, AnOther, Rolling Stone UK, PinkNews, and the BBC.