10 reasons straight men hate lesbian bars

Photo by kevin laminto

Written with Tara Ali Din

In the UK, there are only a handful of lesbian/women-only gay bars left. It seems that the exclusivity of these bars attract not only men and straight people, but their negative reviews.

Auto-straddle posted a list of 29 extracts of negative YELP reviews of lesbian bars in the US. Some of them remind me of drunken nights in Candy bar (before it got shut down) and other are just are downright hilarious.

Here are a few:

‘Most of the “ladies ” here are haters. So much for a supportive, all-inclusive gay community. Perhaps they were jealous because I have fuller facial hair.’

‘If you like the taste of farts in your glass, then this is the place for you!’

‘You don’t go to a club to hear THE MACARENA or Will Smith’s “Gettin’ Jiggy With It” straight off the CD.’

‘This place is like the last person left at the bar that you take home because you don’t want to sleep alone.’

There’s some hilarious commentary on the reviews too, which is worth checking out. Frankly, this all makes me want to head down to my nearest lesbian bar and listen to some vintage Fresh Prince tunes.

But why do men hate lesbian bars any way? We at Vada compiled our top 10 reasons we think man hate lesbian bars.

1. It won’t be what you expected.

she loungewait a minute

there's something bothering me about this placethis lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit

2. Women in lesbian bars always get served before men.

enjoy your deathtrap ladies what was her problem

3. Men’s toilets suddenly become full of women who can’t be bothered to queue in the women’s. But at least we don’t leave the seat up or pee on the floor (well … most of us don’t).

toilet lesbian bar

4. While straight men often foster the dream that they can turn a lesbian, this isn’t going to happen. And any bisexual women who know you’re only there to ‘swipe a dyke’ will run a mile too. We’re people, not Pokemon – you can’t collect us. #idontthinkso

i don't think so

5. When men are allowed into lesbian bars, it’s because we’re feeling generous. Don’t be a tool and don’t be offended when we don’t answer all your intrusive questions about how we have sex, which sex toys we use or even why a dildo is not the same as secretly wanting a dick.

i never explain anything

6. When we dance, it’s not for your entertainment. But you’re more than welcome to dance too – just don’t grind up against us.

7. Our idea of a good bar is probably very different to yours…

ideal lesbian bar

8. We don’t need you to escort us home.

lesbian taxis

9. I feel like some men come with the wrong attitude.

be polite be courteous

10. IT’S. NOT. ALL. ABOUT. YOU.

hockey in a lesbian bar invisible

#sorrynotsorry

Thankfully, lesbian bars are not a new thing, as this 1924 painting by Edward Burra, called ‘The Tavern’, attests:

Edward Burra The Taverna 1924

Or this picture from 1930s Paris.

lesbian bar 4

Long live queer spaces – and especially lesbian bars! Let’s hope we can keep them alive.

lesbian bar - the wildrose - seattle wa pride 2015 bannerP.S., if you want to brush up on lesbian bars and their history, check out this interesting documentary:

 

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